Musical Mirth

Musical mirth – jokes, quotes and sayings that amuse the choir.
With apologies to all conductors out there.....

From Richard Place, former tenor:
Mozart comes to Heaven. God welcomes him and says: “You are going to be the conductor of my celestial orchestra.”
Mozart says: “Thank you God, that’s a great honour. But what about Bach?
God responds: “I am Bach.”

From Alan Bateman, tenor:
An orchestra was hit by lightning. Only the conductor died.

From Jason Sanderson, tenor:
What’s the difference between God and a conductor? God doesn’t think he’s a conductor!

From Sue Pegram, alto:
Q: How long does it take for a conductor to change a lightbulb?  A: Nobody knows because no one’s watching…